Softcover Rough Draft.

Dear World,

As I was reading my friend Jackie’s newest Tumblr post, I came across this post she wrote a couple of days ago. I too agree with what she wrote, entirely. & I am also sorry for the people I have failed. Thank you God, for sending your son because a life without you, is one not worth living!! xo

littlefadedflower:

I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTIME A CHRISTIAN HAS HURT YOU. I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTIME A CHRISTIAN HAS ACTED AS THOUGH YOU WERE BENEATH THEM. PLEASE, PLEASE, DON’T LET THIS KEEP YOU FROM JESUS. 

CHRISTIANS STINK SOMETIMES, BUT CHRIST HIMSELF, HE IS SO PERFECT.

WITH LOVE, 

A CHRISTIAN. (WHO HAS FAILED A WHOLE MESS OF PEOPLE)

[P.S I MEAN THIS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART..SORRY!]

2 notes
Leave Note / Reblog

Via Two Roads Diverged

Beach Baptism.

Tomorrow, is a very important day for me. As a step further into courage, I am being baptized in front of and along side many others at my church’s (Christ Fellowship) beach baptism. I was baptized when I was just a baby but what separates that time from tomorrow’s is that this is a choice I made and not forced to do. Since, at 1-2 years old I didn’t even know what was going on. 

Thanks to Christ Fellowship, I seriously found God again and reestablished a true relationship with him. I’ve been so blessed my whole life, in ways I could never deserve. So tomorrow, I will publicly declare my love for Jesus Christ in my actions and forever on. I look forward to growing closer to God and one day joining him in Heaven.

P.S- I’ve thought about my ‘Doom’s Day’ post for awhile. I haven’t had the courage to type it down, the story of what happened on July 19, 2006, I was about to tell officially, for the first time ever. I then realized that at that time, I just wasn’t ready for that next step. Since then, I have been seeking courage and peace with this. I know one day soon, I  will finally complete the post. So, look out for that.

xo

1 note
Leave Note / Reblog

Apologies.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure I wore myself out yesterday that today I’m a bit uneasy. It’s been a dull day overall, I feel emotionally exhausted. With that being said, the Doom’s day post is going to be a bit delayed for Friday, July 22nd. I was looking forward to getting it done today until I experienced my rollercoaster yesterday and I want to express myself once I’ve gathered my emotions and thoughts again. Not to mention, I have a Nutrition test on Thursday and a Pharmacology test Friday morning. Am I giving you readers anxiety yet? If so, it’s not on purpose. I promise.

Thank you all who have asked me about the post and have been actually taking the time to read my posts. It means a lot to me!! 

Till Friday,
xo

1 note
Leave Note / Reblog

“Doom’s Day”

Have you ever assigned yourself (subconsciously, of course) a doom’s day? Kind of like when you experience something so tragic and as the years go by and anniversaries of that day rack up? Eventually, it becomes your very own “Doom’s Day.” The day you know is coming, you just don’t want it to. Every single day since the month before, it’s all you think about. But you don’t think about what actually happened, you just think about how horribly bad you don’t want that day to come. Once it comes, it forces you to think of that tragic tragic event that unfortunately occured.

Five years later, the day is still so clear in your head. I consider that good for what I actually want to do with my story but bad for my feelings. It’s like reliving a nightmare every time I’m driving in my car with rain falling and suddenly, the sky is split in half with a piercing bolt of white. It scares me till this day. I have one and a half more days till “Doom’s Day.” I’m about to do something I’ve never done before and I one day hope the event that took place on my Doom’s Day, will change the lives of many, eventually. So, lookout for my next post on Tuesday, July 19, 2011.

Doom’s Day.

xo

Leave Note / Reblog

A Generation That Seeks.

Christ Fellowship West Kendall. My church-home for the past year. It’s only appropriate to share my experiences at this amazing spot. No lie, the first day I experienced the lively atmosphere and passion in this building, it was too late to turn back. There was no turning back. I didn’t want to, I yearned to return each and every Sunday at 10am. Coming soon, on July 17, it will make 3 months since I’ve been volunteering in their CF Kids ministry, thanks to Michele Wong. This past Sunday.. with Michele’s help and guidance, I lead my first small group study. Because I honestly only really started reading the bible consistently in December of 2010 and wasn’t comfortable with all the well-known and famous stories everyone knew about and could teach on. So instead, I settled for the “Memory Verse” board every Sunday and now it’s one of those, can’t turn back situations again. It was liberating to finally lead and begin to make a difference in the lives of these children sitting across the table from me. I prayed countless times throughout the days leading to this past Sunday for God to put the words in my mouth and lead this study. For he is the Lord and I am just the messenger of His word. 

I must add, I now keep up with reading the bible every morning before I step out into this crazy world. What a difference it makes through out your days and your mood. So blessed to know Jesus!

Below you can see a snapshot of me managing the “Memory Verse” board a few weeks ago and one of the kids, taking part in the activity! Maybe I can have someone snap a shot of bible study soon! (:

1 note
Leave Note / Reblog

Silent holiday anxiety.

Father’s day is in 4 days! I always seem to get anxious when these little holidays stroll by. 1. Because it makes me sad that I can’t celebrate it with my dad. 2. Because I always have to remind myself that he’s in Heaven with the ultimate Father & that makes me smile, altho it’s hard to smile when you miss a father so bad. How could someone even love a human so much knowing they’re not blood? It’s something I can’t even explain, to me in my heart and in my mind, he’s blood. He’s all I’ve known and that was beyond enough!! I guess it’s different because some people may think that with family, you “have” to love them, like if you have no choice but to. & with Eddie (ew, I can’t believe I just called him that) it’s such a different kind of love I feel for him, more so now that he’s gone. Not necessarily that I loved him less but I for sure grew more appreciation and gratitude towards him, when I miss him thinking about everything he’s given me advice on.

How can a man adopt by law 3 girls into his life and love them like his own? Only someone as amazing as he could, so proud to call him my dad. It makes me sad sometimes because with all of the emotional rollercoasters I experience now, I wish I’d have him above anyone else to turn to. & then so that sad situation gets forgotten and he gets lifted up & knowing I can’t do anything about him being gone, makes me even more sad & that insignificant problem I was sad about disappears. Talk about a real rollercoaster huh!

I guess where I’m getting at is, hug your dad, hug your mom. Over everything… a word, a kiss, a smile, all I wish for is one last hug from my two angels. You don’t have to exchange words, nothing. You just hug! It does all the speaking you need to do. Crazy how such a small gesture impacts lives. I, one day hope to be half the mother to my future children that my dad was to me, how humbling that would be!

So, Sunday I’ll spend the morning at church exactly where I should be, worshipping and giving thanks to the ultimate Father that blessed me with my earthly father. I’d like to do something special after in remembrance of my dad, I’ll start brainstorming tomorrow.

xo

2 notes
Leave Note / Reblog

Long awaited.

Okay so, it’s been way too long since I’ve written. To be honest, for the past month or so, my mind has been running in circles trying to pinpoint a subject on what I wanted to welcome my writing back with! As of right now, it’s still running! So many thoughts, ideas, opinions, ah! I feel like all I ever think/talk about nowadays is school! So, I want to skip that in this post. Actually, it seems to be that I get inspired to write when I’m feeling down or emotional. Yet, I don’t want to talk about anything that’s saddening! Instead, I’ll speak about my most recent thoughts!!

Last night, on my way home from Yafeht’s house, Carrie Underwood’s song “Temporary Home” came through my speakers. It hit home. Not only because of the sad words of people joining God in heaven but of the truth of the whole song.

She sings,
“This is my temporary home
It’s not where I belong
Windows and rooms that I’m passin’ through
This is just a stop, on the way to where I’m going
I’m not afraid because I know this is my
Temporary Home.”

This earth is our temporary home and trust me time is going fast, soon enough our time to go will come and you’re either ready or not. Not only is it important to be ready but to also live an amazingly happy life (that makes God proud). I don’t want to sound all bubbly BUT it’s crazy how much different and worse our lives can be, so take advantage of your opportunities and blessings you have now. I have my sad days and honestly I’m tired of it, there’s really no just reason for me to be sad. I’m safe, healthy, blessed, and I don’t need to waste energy on thinking “I wish” (in regards to my dad) not material things or what not, trust me, I can careless! Except for one thing, I wish for an apt, which will come once I graduate. I need to breath my own air again. Okay, I need to stop going back and forth, haha!

Let’s all try to grow better, day by day. Let us comfort and serve the people we care for. Not many people do! Oh & I’m back into serving at church again, ofcourse the kids section (CFKids)! Amazing first experience last Sunday. My dad is definitely smiling. Trying to live the life he showed me to according to God’s word!! The end.

Tip of the day: Smile at a passerby, haven’t you heard smiles are contagious? :)

Leave Note / Reblog